His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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