i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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