I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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