i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize