I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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