He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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