New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize