i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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