Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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