is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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