my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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