I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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