I skipped work to stalk him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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