i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize