You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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