It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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