Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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