We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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