do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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