so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize