ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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