SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize