i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I feel like abortions should bother me more
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize