sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
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Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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