this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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