I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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