She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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