let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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