And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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