Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize