think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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