idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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