Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize