you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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