Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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