Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize