literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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