I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I did not marry a roomba.
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