My balls are so social today.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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