All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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