I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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