I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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