So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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