some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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