I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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