Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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