worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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