What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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