Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize