Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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